How do Dragons love?

When I was little I would tell my father "I love you." He would say something along the lines of, "No you don't. If you loved me, you would do as I say." If you asked him what love was he'd go on and on about how love is not a "wishy-washy" emotion.

In recent conversations, after discovering autism in the family, I have heard this quote about he and I when I was little, "she made it so I couldn't love her. it wasn't safe." He and I would have volatile fights, often leading to violence. Then he just ignored me.
My father is an Aspie. He doesn't relate to adults well and has no empathy or understanding at all for children. He avoids my daughter most of the time and when he does give advice I often find it lacking.

As an adult, the subject of love flummoxes me. I've never understood why people found others attractive or not. My relationship history from my late teens is filled with promiscuity and anxiety. I tried to fit in , but the only way I could cope with large groups and parties was to go completely manic, which stressed me out more.
Then I decided I would find someone I could turn into what I wanted. I wanted a baby, preferably more than one. I've desperately wanted a child since I was little. I knew if I waite dto do everything I was "supposed to do" first, it would be a very long time.
I am engaged and I have an infant daughter. I don't have a romantic tale of how I fell in love. Some days I can't honestly say I'm in love at all because I don't understand the concept. I grew up to learn that love was something that you built up and you had to put a lot of work into it.

I am engaged to someone I met in High School. We weren't even friends then. We had the same friends and continues to meet socially. One day, it just clicked. He was important. It took two year before we actually started dating. Three months later we were living together. A year later we were engaged and a year after that we were pregnant.
We got engaged in a completely unromantic scene where I threatened to ask him. His manly pride wouldn't allow it. Instead of waiting for emotions to build and see how thigs go as other people decsribe this "Dating Process", I would rather jump into and make it work. Build it from there.

He is fairly helpless in practical matters, which leaves me to take care of them. This can be annoying. However, I am a complete control freak so maybe it's better that way.


I may not know alot about love and emotion but love must exist. Because Dan still puts up with me, despite everything.
And of course, I love my daughter unconditionally.